SEVERAL YEARS AGO WHEN I was in therapy, I remember asking my doctor about family dynamics during the 1960s. Specifically, I wanted to know how children were regarded by their parents. Were they loved, nurtured, listened to? Or were they told to shut up and go away? I knew my concept was sullied by my reality. In order to give humanity a fair shake, I needed to wrap my mind around what was normal--how healthy families related to each other.
My doctor told me that although there were exceptions, most families got along well together. Fathers loved their kids and were kind and nurturing. I am still have trouble believing this.
While older people often complain that things aren't like they used to be, I for one think things have improved dramatically in the past few decades. In fact I'll venture to say that it's not just a figment of my imagination that human interaction has improved since those bygone years.
For example, take American advertising. If you've visited Cynthia's Do I Offend? website, you've witnessed the worst that clever advertisers had to offer to their prospective customers. Here's an example:
So see. Things have come a long way. We're more concerned with people's feelings now. If nothing else. Visit Do I Offend? to see further enlightened, or offended. What do you think?
My doctor told me that although there were exceptions, most families got along well together. Fathers loved their kids and were kind and nurturing. I am still have trouble believing this.
While older people often complain that things aren't like they used to be, I for one think things have improved dramatically in the past few decades. In fact I'll venture to say that it's not just a figment of my imagination that human interaction has improved since those bygone years.
For example, take American advertising. If you've visited Cynthia's Do I Offend? website, you've witnessed the worst that clever advertisers had to offer to their prospective customers. Here's an example:
Or how about this one:
And if things weren't bad enough with the man of the house:
Oh my, those ads are horrible. I was thinking the other day how terrible some of the cartoons I watched as a kid were too, not all of them but some horrible ones come to mind. I think we are more sensitive to other peoples feelings but it seems we are a much more violent society too...unless, we just hear of it more with the media. I know a lot of things were brushed under the rug back then.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I notice is how much more helpful my husband and son are with children whereas my dad felt that going to work everyday was supporting the family and that was pretty much it.
Yes, I agree with you--things are better in so many ways. Things that were accepted when I was a child would be rightly considered to be abuse now. We still have a long ways to go, but I don't want to go back to the "good old days."
ReplyDeleteI'm taking a workshop on family dynamics in a few weeks and it'll be interesting to see the general approach that will be taken by the teacher. (I need credits to renew my teaching certificate, and this one seems interesting.) My family's dynamics baffle me,and I've probably spent far too much time trying to figure out why we are the way we are.
ReplyDeleteIt's right that those ads are considered offensive. Coming from a home (1970s) without a father figure we were, I suppose, lucky in the respect that we didn't have those kind of values drummed into us.
ReplyDeleteI'm also rather sceptical about the Doctor's comments - I know from experience that many of my friends' fathers were far from loving and nurturing.
Back in the fifties and sixties I certainly noticed other families were happier and kinder than my own.
ReplyDeleteConversley women were subjected to a lot of ridiculous rules about dress and housekeeping and behaviour. Was their more gossip, it seems to me there was? So much unecessary stress.